


What He Doesn't Know Can't Hurt Him

by GaHoolianGirl



Series: ZevWarden Week 2016 [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Alcohol, Alistair is pranked poor guy, I copped out on the sex, M/M, Mild misuse of alcohol, Pranks and Practical Jokes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-04
Updated: 2016-08-04
Packaged: 2018-07-29 05:20:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7671658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GaHoolianGirl/pseuds/GaHoolianGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It turns out, Alistair is incredibly easy to get drunk. He hates saying no to offers (especially if food was part of the package) and falls to goading fairly easily. It was Zevran who ending up challenging their simple friend to a friendly drinking game in the Gnawed Noble Tavern...</p><p>...of course, he wasn’t playing fairly.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What He Doesn't Know Can't Hurt Him

**Author's Note:**

> Wednesday, August 3: “Again? What must the others think?”
> 
> I could have written the sex scene but...I didn't wanna. It's also not what you think it's going to be exactly haha

It turns out, Alistair is incredibly easy to get drunk. He hates saying no to offers (especially if food was part of the package) and falls to goading fairly easily. It was Zevran who ending up challenging their simple friend to a friendly drinking game in the Gnawed Noble Tavern...

...of course, he wasn’t playing fairly. The devious elf had snagged some of Oghren’s special brew, and using his famous slight of hand, spiked Alistair’s mug.

Zevran and Gideon watched on with undue amusement as Alistair wobbled for a moment before smacking headfirst into the table. It was a mean spirited little trick, but Zevran supposedly had “noble” intentions.

“The poor man is going to be king. Getting blackout drunk is one way to forget your troubles for  a few hours. Or at least forget the last few hours.”

Gideon sighed, shaking his head fondly, “His Grey Warden metabolism will have him up in an hour or so, take it from me, but he’ll, uhm,” he grimaced, “be in desperate need of the privy.”

Zevran laughed (bordering on manically), clearly very pleased with his own antics. Gideon could appreciate the oddly considerate gesture, but they couldn’t go back to Arl Eamon with Alistair hung over his shoulder like a sack, so they were confined here until he came to.

Of course, it seemed as if Zevran had planned this whole outing. “While our dear friend here is slumbering, shall we go do something _fun_?”

“You- You are absolutely mad. And _brilliant_.”

Grinning at his willing victim, Zevran tilted his head in the direction of one of the room. Gideon nodded, but first whistled for his dog.

“Make sure no one robs poor Alistair here, got it boy? He has some nice weapons I’d rather not lose.”

Jak barked happily, and with the preparations all complete, Zevran pulled him up by the hand and all but dragged him towards the room in the back.

“Isn’t one of the nobles staying here?”

“That is part of the experience, my dear Warden. Not getting caught.”

Gideon’s inner teenager bubbled inside him, overtaking his common sense, “They better not see me in there. I need their support for the landsmeet, and finding me naked with an elf on their bed isn’t a winning endorsement.”

Zevran’s grin only grew, “Not if this were Antiva. And do not worry, I am a master of stealth,” he paused, “and also a master of jumping out of windows and running quickly.”

Gideon wasn’t granted time to response before he was pulled into the room and the door shut behind him.

“Now,” Zevran’s voice lowered to the pitch he knew would have Gideon pliant in his hands, “Shall the _fun_ begin?”

* * *

“HUH!? WHAT!?” Alistair shot up, head spinning and he was pretty sure the world around him was doing the same. Gideon and Zevran sat across from him, and everything looked as it it did..whenever he passed out.

“Wh-wha’ happened?” he asked, pressing his fingers to his temple.

Zevran replied with a smirk, “You bit off more than you could chew with the alcohol my friend.”

“Oh I did? Right. Riiiight. I...remember, now.” He didn’t but he figured a straight answer was what he WOULDN’T get from the elf. After a few chugs of water and some suspiciously private laughs shared between Gideon and Zevran, Alistair figured he could make it back to the Arl’s estate.

...he reeeeally hoped he got his memory back soon, because he heard his companions bickering over if “they would lose the Landsmeet because of ‘virgin eyes’ of the daughter of a Bann”.•

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to start doing this to, check it out [here](http://zevranology.tumblr.com/post/147879108754/zevranwarden-week-what-is-that-exactly-what-it)!


End file.
